today i went down to temple square with my family for conference. i'm so torn on the idea of being mormon, it's becoming frustrating. more or less i go because of my family. i know i can choose wheather or not i go, but i just feel like i'm letting them down if i don't. honestly. i feel as though all i need is simplicity and spirituality. when i'm with them or at church or something, all i feel is complications and stress. thats not something i want. i like studying tao, because it's all about simplicity of the mind and of life. it just feels right. i don't know. more or less i just feel pushed into and being something or someone i'm not quite ready to be. i'm ready to explore and grow and live and learn on my own, from my own experiences, not everyone else's. i feel as though i'm letting so many people down by not being what they want me to be. but what they want and what i want are two different things. it's hard for me to make them realize that.